„Is there anyone else here that experiences epistemic loneliness particularly intensely in Lithuania?
Epistemic loneliness is a kind of loneliness that comes from… not being able to explored a shared reality and complexity of thought.
I’m pretty lonely and I realize I desperately need a friend. It’s really odd, currently I’m back in New York and it’s taken me travelling out of LT to realize this.
I don’t have anything negative to say about Lithuania, really— but I do find that complexity just…. Doesnt exist in the way that I need it to. I often ask people around me all kinds of weird questions— for example, about Kaliningrad, or immigration, or pension reform. Anything really. Exploring thought is like a vitamin to me. And, well, conversation doesn’t work the same way here in LT. It physically pains me when I get the “we don’t talk about that here”. Sometimes, I get called the stupid or weird one.
Any other foreigners identify with this?“
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Komentarai
„based on your description Lithuania might not be the best option for you. It’s not and never will be as diverse as New York. NYC is a melting pot and you meet all kinds of people there. The diversity is unimaginable for LT. And this same melting pot culture created a certain social ambiguity – nobody really cares what you are and where you’re from. Anything flies in NYC.“
„Are you serious? You felt bad only because some Lithuanians did not like to talk about Kaliningrad ? Only because of it you feel lonlyness in Lithuania ? 🤭 You are really interesting person ! 🤣🤣🤣“
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„this. This is exactly what I mean. You don’t realize it, but I think everyone else reading your comment will get it.
This is exactly the kind of response that kills.“
„Actually, I was going to comment something similar to what Omer and Jason said. The nature of conversation here very much depends on where and with whom you talk. Lithuanians do not open that easily, for the topics you mentioned as well. But once they find they want to talk with you about anything deeper, they will give you the full account of what they think about it. As about the complexity of a thought, you would find it more in some circles, if you mingle there. Like Social loftas, or some events, or the stairs to the library. It takes time, I guess, even for the locals to find your own circle. I won’t say it is easy, I am not a fan of how it happens here myself, but once you find it, you might as well find friends for life with whom you can talk and disagree and argue but remain friends. But this is true, we don’t jump on difficult topics, this is just centuries of history injected into us. And it is also true that as a young country we lack of individual freedom (of thought including), and of a feeling that we really are allowed to express it. So the complexity might not be easy to find, to spot on just socially, but it doesn’t mean it is not there in the depths of genuine conversations. I wish you will find your circle, and feel better. It is hard to experience this sort of loneliness, and I can sympathise with you lacking the response when in here.“
„I feel you. The best way that I could describe the dissonance is: “what is there to talk about Kaliningrad? they’re a bunch of russians”, “what is there to talk about immigration? they’re a bunch of foreigners”, “what is there to talk about pension reform? politicians are just looking out for themselves”.
People don’t really want diversity of thought, at least not right now. Most folks are just focused of their job, family, mortgages etc. It fluctuates from year/decade to decade, but right now we’re going through a period of insulation.“
„Most locals live with deep multigenerational trauma and there are many mental health issues. I feel like being more trauma informed can also help understanding and reading the reality. ♡“
„Yes definitely this is the same experience for me, I am very lucky to have found two friends who are very open with discussion and philosophy but they live on the fringe of society and are far from the norm. From what I can ascertain this is a cultural phenomenon passed down through a generation that lived through occupation and will maybe dissolve as time moves on 🤷🏻♂️“
„I get you Luke! I think this is true but not only in Lithuania. I’ve travelled extensively and lived in UK for 18 years. This is the world we live in now, majority of the people cannot handle depth so they just won’t go there. If you’re broad minded, have lived abroad or travelled, care about stuff beyond your own bubble it can take a while to find your people. But!!! They are there.“
